9 28 26 TARANTULA TINDER & OTHER BAD MONDAY DECISIONS

🎙️ DAWACK IN DA MORNING

Monday, September 28, 2026 🎧 THREE GOLF BALLS, ONE HORNY SPIDER & ZERO MOTIVATION

Monday is back, and apparently it brought snakes, horny spiders, rock stars, stupid criminals and a whole truckload of bad decisions with it.

On Pod #8 of DaWack in da Morning, Zack DaWack crawls back behind the microphone at the low-rent, sleazy, double-greasy Ramin Jamin Nut Hut Studios to kick off another week with history, music, celebrity nonsense, stupid news and enough questionable comedy to make responsible adults change the station.

This time around, we've got a snake that swallowed three golf balls, a desperate pet owner trying to get his dying tarantula laid, a 9-year-old who allegedly blew $118,000 on YouTube ads, Wendy's apparently discovering emo music, and a teacher accused of turning burglary into an extracurricular activity.

But wait — there's more crap!

We travel back to Yorktown, revisit the Black Sox scandal, watch Ted Williams hit .406 and later homer in the final at-bat of his career, remember Miles Davis, Coolio, Kris Kristofferson and Harpo Marx, and dig through a monster pile of music history featuring Stevie Wonder, Nirvana, Guns N' Roses, Kate Bush, The Police, Garth Brooks, Tina Turner and George Harrison.

Then it's on to the latest music and showbiz buzz, weird sports rules, reasons pets may be better than partners, celebrity birthdays, and another catastrophically inaccurate visit to the stars with the Monday Horriblescopes.

So grab some coffee, lower your expectations and come waste part of your Monday with us.

No useful information guaranteed. Side effects may include laughter, confusion and explaining to somebody why you were listening to a story about Tarantula Tinder.

Welcome to DaWack in da Morning.

Same Wack Time. Same Wack Channel.

🎉 TODAY’S HOLIDAYS

We celebrate — or at least acknowledge:

National Good Neighbor Day • National Strawberry Cream Pie Day • National Drink Beer Day • National Family Day • World Rabies Day

Finally, a Monday with beer.

🪦 GONE BUT NOT FORGOTTEN

Remembering notable figures who died on September 28:

Harpo Marx • Miles Davis • Coolio • Kris Kristofferson • Drake Hogestyn • William Boeing • Herman Melville • Prince Wilhelm of Prussia

And no, Prince Wilhelm was NOT responsible for the Wilhelm scream.

📜 THIS DAY IN HISTORY

We take another questionable trip through the history books:

1781 — The Siege of Yorktown begins
1850 — Congress bans flogging aboard U.S. naval and merchant vessels
1920 — Eight Chicago White Sox players are indicted in the Black Sox scandal
1924 — The first aerial circumnavigation of the world is completed
1941 — Ted Williams finishes the season batting .406
1960 — Ted Williams homers in the final at-bat of his career
1961 — Syria withdraws from the United Arab Republic
1965 — Fidel Castro announces Cubans wishing to leave may do so
1994 — The Estonia ferry disaster claims 852 lives
2018 — Venta Maersk completes a historic voyage through the Northern Sea Route

🗓️ THIS WEEK IN HISTORY

The Bill of Rights starts taking shape — and one amendment takes 203 years to finally get ratified.

Plus:

Evita opens on Broadway • Scientists warn aerosols may damage the ozone layer • Mark Zuckerberg calls for broader Internet access • NASA announces evidence of flowing salty water on Mars • Ruth Bader Ginsburg becomes the first woman to lie in state at the U.S. Capitol.

🎸 THIS DAY IN MUSIC

September 28 was apparently busy as hell:

🎹 Stevie Wonder releases Songs in the Key of Life
🎸 George Harrison gets sued by A&M Records
🚔 The Police hit #1 with “Don’t Stand So Close to Me”
🏃‍♀️ Kate Bush tops the UK album chart with Hounds of Love
🎺 Jazz legend Miles Davis dies at 65
🤘 Nirvana hits New York as Nevermind begins its takeover
🇨🇦 Bryan Adams receives major Canadian honors
🤠 Garth Brooks dominates with Ropin’ the Wind
🌹 Guns N’ Roses occupy the top two UK album spots with Use Your Illusion I & II
👑 Madonna tops a VH1 fan poll
🛣️ Tennessee honors Tina Turner with the Tina Turner Highway

🎵 MUSIC & ENTERTAINMENT BUZZ

Also on the musical radar:

Taylor Swift • Beyoncé & Jay-Z • Calvin Harris • Amy Winehouse • Naked Eyes • Red Hot Chili Peppers • Rush • Miranda Lambert • Ella Langley • Neal McCoy • Tucker Wetmore

Plus entertainment buzz involving:

Bob Saget • Martin Mull • Ryan Murphy and a possible Glee reboot • Matthew McConaughey • Woody Harrelson • Jonathan Taylor Thomas • Taylor & Tay Lautner

🤪 STUPID NEWS

Because respectable journalism can only take us so far:

🐍 Snake Eats Three Golf Balls — Apparently Titleists look delicious when you're a snake.

🕷️ Tarantula Tinder — A pet owner searches for a female tarantula so his aging male spider can finally get lucky.

🍔 Wendy’s Goes Emo — Because apparently fast food wasn't emotionally complicated enough.

🏠 Teacher Accused of Taking Students Burglarizing — Today's lesson: Breaking & Entering 101.

🎮 9-Year-Old Runs Up $118,000 in YouTube Ads — Mighty Mike wanted more views. Dad's company credit card apparently volunteered.

🎨 Seattle's “Inconvenience Store” — A former 7-Eleven becomes an art exhibit filled with wonderfully useless merchandise.

🤡 THE FUNNY FIRM

This week's comedy pile includes:

Flock cameras • A confused humpback whale • Starbucks closures • The United Nations • Artificial intelligence • Coffee and sleep • McDonald's modernization • Atlanta pandas • The NFL's No Fun League • American Horror Story • Alpha-gal allergies • Climate change • Sydney Sweeney • and assorted political foolishness.

😂 FUNNIEST TWEETS OF THE WEEK

Eldest daughters become management at age seven.

British people are either chuffed or gutted.

Ducks can walk, swim and fly — while somehow looking mediocre at all three.

And if you want to hear Ed Sheeran without an opening act, apparently just call your bank and ask to be placed on hold.

🤯 DID YOU KNOW?

A rare Pokémon Pikachu Illustrator card reportedly sold at auction for $5 million.

“Gotta catch ’em all” has officially become:

“Gotta insure ’em all.”

🏆 BS WHACK FACTS

Weird Sports Rules Edition

Handkerchief-carrying wrestlers • signed golf scorecards • shirtless runners • catching baseballs with hats • kicking soccer balls with shoes you've removed • and apparently even chess has wardrobe problems.

🐶 WHY PETS ARE BETTER THAN PARTNERS

No in-laws.

They miss you after eight minutes.

They don't care if you haven't showered.

And most importantly:

They're not people.

🚿 ODD THINGS TO SAY IN A LOCKER ROOM

An assortment of sentences that should probably never be spoken aloud in a locker room — including questions about zits, towels, underwear, manscaping and several medical situations nobody asked to inspect.

🎂 BIRTHDAY WACKOS

Happy birthday to:

🎂 Frankie Jonas — 26
The Bonus Jonas.

🎂 Hilary Duff — 39
Lizzie McGuire fans now get excited when Costco puts paper towels on sale.

🎂 Naomi Watts — 58

🎂 Mira Sorvino — 59

And remembering September 28 birthdays Ed Sullivan and Brigitte Bardot.

🔮 MONDAY HORRIBLESCOPES

The stars have once again reviewed your life choices.

Libra: Pick something. Anything.
Scorpio: You haven't forgotten. You've archived it.
Sagittarius: Your bank account recommends vacationing at Home Depot.
Capricorn: Work hard, then resent everyone else.
Aquarius: Brilliant visionary or complete horseshit? Stay tuned.
Pisces: Reality called. You sent it to voicemail.
Aries: You're dragging everyone through Monday.
Taurus: The universe recommends change. You decline.
Gemini: Both personalities agree Monday sucks.
Cancer: Your perfect comeback arrives Thursday.
Leo: Nobody noticed you. Please respect Leo's privacy.
Virgo: Spend 45 minutes organizing your productivity list.

Those are your official DaWack in da Morning Horriblescopes.

☕ MONDAY DAWACK THOUGHT

You don't have to outrun Monday.

You just have to survive long enough to complain about Tuesday.

🎙️ WACK OUT!

Connect with Zack at zackdawack.com or call 984-DAWACK-1 (984-329-2251).

Like it. Follow it. Subscribe. And share the show with your people.

Thanks to all the Wackos, Weirdos, Reverts, Preverts, Dingbats and Jello Heads Anonymous for listening.

Until Friday...

Same Wack Time. Same Wack Channel.

WACK OUT! 🤘